You ever have those moments when you’re in the midst of “laying down the law” in your house and all you get back is...
“Mom! You're Not Nice!”or
“Mom, I hate you!” or
“Mom, I feel like you don’t love me.”
Do you come back with just a few more fighting words, retreat in horror that your child uttered those words, or stop in your tracks not knowing what to do next?
Well, you’re not alone. Our head is saying one thing and our heart is feeling another – cue in mommy guilt!
Our head (logic & pragmatic) wants the clear cut, rule abiding, appropriate, “yes” saying child that would make everything just so much easier. Our heart (feelings & emotions) wants to find compassion and empathy as we co-create this nuanced relationship.
So how do we get back on course and integrate the head’s need for order and routine, and the hearts need for flexibility / understanding / connection?
Last week I held a parenting presentation and workshop and we began to discuss using mindfulness to empower our children’s autonomy & independence while defining expectations.
I think the things we discussed fit right into today’s topic. In our families, the integration of head and heart can begin with igniting a sense of belonging that each family member is a vital component in creating a successful integrated unit that can (and will) achieve great things when “we work together – like a team.”
To do this - to have the family come together and work like a team – you need to…
It is all a delicate balance with no absolutes. To design more conscious consequences & clear/consistent limits is to address how we’re meeting our children with where they’re at both developmentally & emotionally - reminding ourselves of the unique child (just like their one-of-a-kind fingerprint) that stands in front of us.
Stay Tuned for my 2018 Parenting E-Course in collaboration with QueenBee, Joanne Tsianos: Solutions for work-life balance, health and living with MomFlow!