As I get ready to co-launch my e-course with Queen Bee Joanne Tsianos, I think today’s story is a good reflection of the "in-the-moment" and real-life use of the topics and themes we're covering in the course modules. Here are just some topics to look forward to: Getting on the Same Page, Language & How To Use It, Validating without Spoiling, Conscious Discipline & Consequences, etc.
In the meantime, enjoy my real-life story with my son:
Monday was MLK day and the kids were off from school. We took advantage of a nice quality day at home and I took the kids out for lunch where we then did a quick stop at CVS. We got home, kicked off the shoes, hung the coats and settled in when my son pulls out a TicTac pack from his pocket. I hadn’t quite registered yet what had happened.
I am eager to support you in getting 2018 started in ways that can have a positive and dramatic impact on your family!
We are 8 days into the New Year, the holidays are over and so are the incentives we created for our kids to “behave” better.
How often in these last few days and weeks did we yell out, “If you don’t ____, then you won’t get _____ this year!” Let’s be honest with ourselves. How likely were we really to commit to NOT giving our son/daughter that thing on their holiday wish list? Chances are the outcome would not have resulted in a box of coal, am I right? We’re all guilty of dishing out threats or consequences we’re truly not willing to follow through on and our children are keen to know that they are ineffective Empty Threats. As we're in the throws of the holidays, I know I'm not alone in this year feeling "busier" then previous ones. Have you felt that way too? Perhaps you may even have some family drama occupying your mental space that's making the season a little less filled with "peace and joy." With families of all shapes, sizes, quirks, idiosyncrasies and distances it can be easy not to enjoy the holidays. It's totally normal and OK to sit with the frustration that can come during this time of year, but then it's how long we let those bubbling feelings and racing thoughts sit inside and fester. When we let those catabolic thoughts and feelings filter the way we experience our holiday, we allow it to create our experience.
All I keep hearing is ‘I want …’ and ‘I have to …’ way more often than any appreciation of ‘thank you’ or even the hint of giving back. It’s driving me crazy. These kids don’t appreciate anything.” Let me ask, have you rattled off some version of this sentence before? Like most of us parents, I’m sure you have. After this thought starts to sprout, what tends to happen next? Yup, we fall prey to getting on our soap box of all the other families and children around the world who don’t have enough food, clothes, shelter and toys.
Even though we feel compelled to say it, how much does it actually resonate? Sure, our kids might “get it” for a moment but often it becomes a fleeting moment motivated by guilt that has little sustainable impact. |
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